"Everything Dies, Baby that's a fact, But maybe everything that dies, someday comes back"

My friend and partner in crime took a knee this weekend, almost a year to the day that his best friend went to the great squirrel hunting grounds in the sky. Luckily, I was in town on bid'ness and was able to say goodbye.

I first met Tonto at a dog pound near HCC. The night I brought him home he threw up all over, well, everything and had diarrhea. I took him to the vet the next day and he told me that the dog had parvo and unless I gave him $800 he would die. I did not have $800 so I took him home and prepared for the inevitable and 10 short years later the vet turned out to be right.

Tonto and I shared many a night drinking beer and watching tv. He also had a 2nd home with my sister in Tampa, which is pretty impressive in this economy! He was an amazing animal that brought out the best in the people he met. I learned a lot from that dog, here are just a few of my thoughts:

1) Be nice to all you meet and you will be treated well. Tonto was nice to everybody he met and it brought out a lot of loyalty from people. I can't tell you how many people offered to take him or watch him just because they liked him so much. I got a lot of free kennel days out of it too.

2) When confronted with new surroundings jump in with both feet and it will all work out fine. One of the kennels that Tonto stayed at belonged to a lady that bred Great Danes. I could not believe how big those dogs were, and I'm 6'1"!! But Tonto just ran right up to them and acted like he was at home and those dogs loved it when he came to visit.

3) If you're going to poo in your neighbors yard, you'd better ask if it's ok first.

4) Friends and family are what life is all about. I remember countless episodes of Rufus and Tonto getting in to mischief when I lived w/ Gary in Carpenters Run (probably the best time of my life btw). Rufus would sleep outside my door and vice versa on the weekend, waiting on his buddy to come out and play. Those two really got along and showed me that life is a lot better when you've got pals. Thanks to Gary, Kris, and Edbud, Tonto was laid to rest beside his buddy on the Foster Ranch...Gary is one of those true friends and its fitting that our pals passed away a year apart and get to be near each other forever.

Good bye and God Speed Tonto...you were a great dog, an outstanding listener, and loved by all you came across.

Tonto "The Big Eared Shepard"

08-1-1999 - 06-20-2009

R.I.P.

"Vindicated. I am selfish, I am wrong. I am right, I swear I'm right..."

First let me say that we here at the Five Guys are about the furthest thing from racist that you can imagine. But we are also pretty far from being apologists. Earlier this week the U.S. Senate issued a formal apology for the injustices of slavery. Who this apology was directed at remains a mystery. Slavery was abolished 144 years ago so there is absolutely no one alive who was affected by it. This is not to diminish the struggles of the civil rights movement, the idiocy of Jim Crowe, or even the on going struggle for true racial equality. But what exactly was the purpose for this apology? Did our government just now realize that slavery was wrong? Have we known for years but stubbornly refused to apologize because we were afraid that admitting that allowing one human to own another human is inherently wrong would weaken us in the eyes of our more barbaric allies? The truth is this apology at best, means nothing and at worst is incredibly insulting. People that in some way feel vindicated by this gesture are morons. We all know slavery was more than wrong. It was a monstrosity. Without a doubt the biggest blight on an otherwise proud American history. With that said, in this day and age people are accountable for their own successes or failures, whether they want to admit it or not. Regardless of race, if you are a success you get to take credit for that. Conversely, if you are gutter trash, it is no one's fault but your own, including some racist landbaron who may have (but very likely didn't) own your great grandfather.

"I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out"

I've had it with the term "in these tough economic times". I've heard it used in many different forums but it always seems to be used as an excuse to reward less than what is earned based on inefficiencies and poor planning. Another one of the "five guys" team has become a victim of this way of thinking and his 10+ years of service to a single company (unheard of in this day and age) has been given 2 weeks to find another position in a company that just eliminated his or it's streetsville for him.

If you've read our blog (the count is up to 6 people now that Allison chimed in) then you know how the host feels about the World. Every single member of this blog has been effected by unemployment or the threat of unemployment in the past year...a pretty compelling stat. It's a cruel world and one that's not getting any easier...but whoever said it was supposed to be easy?

Seriously...who here got that little certificate when they were born that stated "Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen To the Bearer of this Document"? When times are tough at home couples either quite or band together. When times are tough on the ball field teams either change strategies or lose. But, for some reason, when times get tough for companies, the same husbands and wives that work harder at home to keep things together, make the easy decision to cut "other" people, masking inefficiencies that made them unable to compete, and creating new areas of waste that will make it impossible to be competitive in the future. It's so counterintuitive that I can't process it. The only counter argument I can think of is "think about it from the CEO's standpoint, he's responsible to the shareholders to make a profit, somethings got to be done". I still say that's very shortsighted, people are the only asset that you can truly mesure expenditures toward. A CEO can see how much he/she is paying to a department or individual and it's easy to make that number 0. But it's harder to measure day to day output and intangible contributions that come from an experienced staff...it's the kind of cut that bleeds slowly and steadily for years.

I know our friend will be fine. 'Merica was built on the backs of men like him that see adversity, take it head on and when punched in the gut, drink some tequila, roll up the sleeves, and take the fight right back to the enemy. He, like few others, understands that shit happens in this world and when it does, fuck it, drive on. Everybody loves the rally cap and the comeback story because everybody wishes they were somebody. Somebody that can. Well I think our pasts have shown that our friend is somebody that can.

So come on World...that the best you got! Maybe in these tough economic times you've gotten a little weak in the "doling out shit" department...see ya in a couple weeks when we right this ship and start kicking your ass again.

"You don't need the bullet, when you got the ballot"

A couple weeks ago President BO named his first Supreme Court nominee. As always happens when a new nominee is named, the circus came to The Beltway. As soon as Judge Sotomayor was nominated, Republicans immediately decried the choice for no apparent reason and Democrats lauded it, also for no apparent reason. The biggest criticism of Sotomayor has been her voting record as it relates to race issues. Many Republican leaders consistently level a charge of reverse racism against her. As with so many things our elected officials do, this is inherently stupid. There is no such thing as "reverse racism". Racism is when a member of one race holds prejudice against or dislike of members of another race based on no other factors than their ethnic background. You are either a racist or you are not (she most certainly is). If there was such a thing as "reverse racism", that would actually be a good thing. It would, by definition, be the absence of these prejudices. It is, in fact, what we should all be striving for. So while the Republicans need to get a better understanding of proper nomenclature, they are probably on the right path because Judge Sotomayor has a record of prejudices against Caucasians. Whether that comes from her background as a minority is inconsequential. It also comes off as a bit disingenuous coming from a graduate of Yale Law school. Regardless, she will no doubt be confirmed based in large part to her ethnic background and the Democratic majority in Congress. So, really, all of this is political grandstanding in its most appalling form.

“BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN’, DARLIN’, YOU NEVER EVEN CALLED ME BY MY NAME”

Last Saturday was the rarest of occasions. All five of the Five Guys were brought together in one location by the wedding of Pauly’s sister. As we have all known Pauly’s Sis for basically the entirety oh her life, this was more than just some wedding, it was a momentous family affair. The event took place on a beautiful stretch of beach, the weather could not have been better, and, most importantly, it gave us occasion for all of our favorite activities tomfoolery, shenanigans, highjinks, and so on. There was drinking and joking and cigar smoking. Pauly actually performed the ceremony despite having no official religious capacity. As the evening wore on Frank did The Worm as he is wont to do, causing his wife to get mad, which she is wont to do. It seemed no one wanted the evening to end. As a final last song request the DJ, having no idea what he was in for, agreed to play a David Allen Coe classic. While The Host has owned this song in various karaoke joints across the Southeast, this time the other four of us joined in a formed a perfect chorus of drunken caterwauling. So loud, off key, and incredibly awesome was it, that the guys from the bar scene in Top Gun would have been offended. Impromptu lyric swaps and mild forms of “dancing” were incorporated. While the performance was officially directed at the Bride, it played to, everyone else at the wedding, the entire restaurant, and various passers by on the beach. Upon completion it was loudly applauded and we were told by many (the bride included) that it was the highlight of the evening. While everyone seemed to enjoy our non-sense, as Frank would later point out, it wasn’t really about them. It was just about us, and The Five Guys doing what we do best. Having GDTYMZ.