An Open Letter

Dear World-

I apologize if this comes off as a bit harsh, but I am not sure I am a big fan of yours. That's not to say I am looking to leave you in short order nor do I feel it's entirely your fault. Also, given the current evidence, it appears you aren't a huge fan of mine. So, hey, I guess we can call it even in that regard.

But, since I have access to this blog and you don't (presumably), you will listen to every damn word I have to say. If you want to retort, hey you are the world and given that I would consider CNN, Fox, etc. your retort, I think you may fall short. Anything personally related to me, well, I'll own that if you can find a way to post it.

So here is my evidence against you Mr. World and why I have decided I am not a huge fan:

- In your current state, Britney Spears is a multi-millionaire and Jason Isbell, Patterson Hood, DBT, Bright Eyes, and Band of Horses toil in obscurity and semi-poverty. They all make some of the most enlightened and best music out today, but you wouldn't know. You are more concerned with idiot Program Directors, ad sales, proper radio formats, etc. What's the matter World, sorry I cracked your Poker Face?

- Sandra Cantu, Jessica Lunsford, the Amber Alert namesake, etc. Can you answer for those? More importantly can you answer for the John Couey's and Ronald McTear's of the world? I'm not so much saying it's your fault, but since it's not mine and I can't find anyone else to pin it on, you have to own it. There's also whoever killed JonBenet (not to mention the parents who allow their children in those "pageants").

- Yesterday was my 5th Mother's Day without my mom. You're just cruel there.

- Over the past 20 years you have sat by while people amassed untold fortunes as the people who make this world tick were more and more marginalized. When the practices of the few led to the most dramatic economic dropoff in memory, it's the marginalized who pay the price even deeper. Cut someone's income from $1 billion to $500 million and they might flinch. Cut someone's income from $100,000 to $50,000 and that's real pain, man. Is it too much to ask of you for a little consideration? While you are considering, wages that keep up with the cost of living would be a good start. I'm just saying.

- I still can't go to Cuba. Add that to your list of "Things to Work On" that Mrs. World has laying around for you. You can list it under more pressing items on her list like: Clean up the pool (which in your instance is the 2/3 of you covered in water), Fix the heater (dude you are getting warmer every year...maybe you should actually check your A/C), landscaping (you have a lot to make up for after years of clear cutting jungles, forests, etc.). You get the picture. But since it seems you aren't really working very hard on the other items, I'll take Cuba.

- Right now, on you, the most powerful law-making group on you is having hearings about whether or not there should be a playoff in college football (there should and you should wield any influence you have in that regard). However, if you could get them to maybe focus on unemployment, North Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq, Ahmadenijad, a resurgent and angry Russia, China, starving people in the US, human rights around the globe and in the US and about 500 other things I don't have time to mention here, I would appreciate it. I also think the majority of your citizenry will appreciate it. But I can't speak for them.

- Some of the smartest people on you sent people to the moon (or at least you were smart enough to fool them from a Hollywood basement). How is it you can't get us off gas and oil? Are you afraid of Big Money too?

- Not sure where you come down on Miss California, but judging from what's out there in press, you are wrong.

- Do you have anything to say for Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld?

- Any chance you can settle that Israel - Palestine thing? While you're working that and in the mood India - Pakistan, Pakistan - Afghanistan and the U.S. - Everybody else probably needs some work too. The latter as a result of you not having a good answer to the last question.

- Your "heroes" make millions playing games, driving fast or playing people they aren't. Your heroes make a pittance getting killed overseas, putting out fires, saving lives and arresting bad guys. Not to mention those who teach or assist those in more need than themselves. You should really look into this.

- If you have any time left and you can devote some to my personal life...I sure could use some help.

So, anyway, I know you are big and there's a lot going on but I think you can do better. I mean, you represent all of humanity and I really don't want to lose faith though I fear I might. I need to know there is hope. So, maybe in the next few weeks or months one or more of these can see some improvement. It might be asking a lot, but you have big shoulders. I have confidence, albeit waning, but I'm still here with you.

Sorry for our first correspondence to be so negative. Should you fix any of the above, I'll be sure to write you a nicer letter.

Sincerely,
Me.

PBRs, Great Music, and 2 AM

Three of us went to see Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit last night. I will let our music aficionado give you a more detailed description/opinion of the show if he so chooses, but in my simpleton summation...IT ROCKED. The opening act we all agreed was pretty good. I bought a CD and got a t-shirt for free, neither of which are right here in front of me, so I don't remember their name. Like I said we all thought they were good, but once Isbell came on stage there was a noticeable difference in good and great music. I have been to two Isbell shows and he doesn't disappoint. They mixed in some Truckers tunes with a lot of his solo stuff. That’s as extensive as my music reviews get.

As to the other two descriptors in the title, the tall boy PBRs went down way to easy and 2 AM came way too soon. These two issues lead a very tuff 6 AM wake-up. Even with that being said, hagin with the guys, listening to one of our favorite bands, and drinking ice cold PBRs is worth any amount of hang-over pain.

“We’re gonna fuel the fire, gonna stoke it up. We’re gonna sip this wine, and pass the cup. Who needs avenues, who needs reservoirs"

I thought it necessary to respond to Ant’ny’s post about living up in New York. And that response is this: Don’t lie! You love it up there. You think “The City” is “Alive”. You love the unique “electricity” and think it’s awesome that you can get anything your little heart desires to eat at 3:00 in the morning. You tell yourself these and myriad other douchy things that all New Yorkers tell themselves to justify the fact that they live a cold, overcrowded cesspool….er, “melting pot” of a city. Yeah, you love it there.

I kid Ant’ny. We love you kid. Just come on home.

**A couple of side notes:
-My title to this post is related in the same brilliant way that the title to Ant’ny’s last post was.
-Mrs. GF will be up in NYC next week. She actually does love it up there.

"Sit and drink pennyroyal tea"

It's May right? By all accounts, groundhogs included, surely it should be spring by now (yes, and don't call me Shirly). Then why in the whales vagina am I sitting in a coffee shop in a 50 degree drizzle that has been ongoing since Wednesday of last week!! Seriously! I don't know how people from here, Seattle, or Alaska do it. I require sunshine, mild temperatures, and at least the prospect of a beach and good times. If you read my previous blog you might be confused, I made NY sound so positive...trust me, nobody is more confused than I am regarding the weather in this part of the country. Take me to FL...STAT, ASAP, insert other useless acronym here just get me in the sun and fun before I end up at the top of a tall structure with a deer rifle.

PS--I'm guessing only Gary will get the title reference

"You'll be missed Miss California. You'll be loved by only me"

Let me preface this post by saying that I have no opinion on gay marriage. My heart tells me one thing and my head tells me another. I am also a man who is married to a person with lady parts so I think it would be pretty arrogant of me to assume that I can understand the other side of the story. I also normally wouldn't comment on Donald Trump owned beauty pageants unless there was some comedic benefit involved. With that said, I absolutely love Miss California and her "I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman" stance. What I love even more is her refusal to back down or apologize in the face of criticism from the leftist media, C list Hollywood stars, and official gay douchebag spokesman Perez Hilton. You see, this is still America and one of the greatest freedoms that we have is the freedom to voice an opinion, no matter how unpopular it may be. In this particular case over the half the country agrees with the "unpopular" opinion, yet somehow sweet little Miss California has become the poster child for gay bashing and intolerance. I admire her poise and moxy in the face of this B.S. firestorm.

The End.