Dear World-
I apologize if this comes off as a bit harsh, but I am not sure I am a big fan of yours. That's not to say I am looking to leave you in short order nor do I feel it's entirely your fault. Also, given the current evidence, it appears you aren't a huge fan of mine. So, hey, I guess we can call it even in that regard.
But, since I have access to this blog and you don't (presumably), you will listen to every damn word I have to say. If you want to retort, hey you are the world and given that I would consider CNN, Fox, etc. your retort, I think you may fall short. Anything personally related to me, well, I'll own that if you can find a way to post it.
So here is my evidence against you Mr. World and why I have decided I am not a huge fan:
- In your current state, Britney Spears is a multi-millionaire and Jason Isbell, Patterson Hood, DBT, Bright Eyes, and Band of Horses toil in obscurity and semi-poverty. They all make some of the most enlightened and best music out today, but you wouldn't know. You are more concerned with idiot Program Directors, ad sales, proper radio formats, etc. What's the matter World, sorry I cracked your Poker Face?
- Sandra Cantu, Jessica Lunsford, the Amber Alert namesake, etc. Can you answer for those? More importantly can you answer for the John Couey's and Ronald McTear's of the world? I'm not so much saying it's your fault, but since it's not mine and I can't find anyone else to pin it on, you have to own it. There's also whoever killed JonBenet (not to mention the parents who allow their children in those "pageants").
- Yesterday was my 5th Mother's Day without my mom. You're just cruel there.
- Over the past 20 years you have sat by while people amassed untold fortunes as the people who make this world tick were more and more marginalized. When the practices of the few led to the most dramatic economic dropoff in memory, it's the marginalized who pay the price even deeper. Cut someone's income from $1 billion to $500 million and they might flinch. Cut someone's income from $100,000 to $50,000 and that's real pain, man. Is it too much to ask of you for a little consideration? While you are considering, wages that keep up with the cost of living would be a good start. I'm just saying.
- I still can't go to Cuba. Add that to your list of "Things to Work On" that Mrs. World has laying around for you. You can list it under more pressing items on her list like: Clean up the pool (which in your instance is the 2/3 of you covered in water), Fix the heater (dude you are getting warmer every year...maybe you should actually check your A/C), landscaping (you have a lot to make up for after years of clear cutting jungles, forests, etc.). You get the picture. But since it seems you aren't really working very hard on the other items, I'll take Cuba.
- Right now, on you, the most powerful law-making group on you is having hearings about whether or not there should be a playoff in college football (there should and you should wield any influence you have in that regard). However, if you could get them to maybe focus on unemployment, North Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq, Ahmadenijad, a resurgent and angry Russia, China, starving people in the US, human rights around the globe and in the US and about 500 other things I don't have time to mention here, I would appreciate it. I also think the majority of your citizenry will appreciate it. But I can't speak for them.
- Some of the smartest people on you sent people to the moon (or at least you were smart enough to fool them from a Hollywood basement). How is it you can't get us off gas and oil? Are you afraid of Big Money too?
- Not sure where you come down on Miss California, but judging from what's out there in press, you are wrong.
- Do you have anything to say for Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld?
- Any chance you can settle that Israel - Palestine thing? While you're working that and in the mood India - Pakistan, Pakistan - Afghanistan and the U.S. - Everybody else probably needs some work too. The latter as a result of you not having a good answer to the last question.
- Your "heroes" make millions playing games, driving fast or playing people they aren't. Your heroes make a pittance getting killed overseas, putting out fires, saving lives and arresting bad guys. Not to mention those who teach or assist those in more need than themselves. You should really look into this.
- If you have any time left and you can devote some to my personal life...I sure could use some help.
So, anyway, I know you are big and there's a lot going on but I think you can do better. I mean, you represent all of humanity and I really don't want to lose faith though I fear I might. I need to know there is hope. So, maybe in the next few weeks or months one or more of these can see some improvement. It might be asking a lot, but you have big shoulders. I have confidence, albeit waning, but I'm still here with you.
Sorry for our first correspondence to be so negative. Should you fix any of the above, I'll be sure to write you a nicer letter.
Sincerely,
Me.
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