"I go to some bar room, to drink with my friends, where the women they can't follow, to see what I spend"

Mr. GF beat me to the punch but that's ok...I'll post one anyway.

2008 has been interesting to say the least. I started the year serving the gubment and finished it serving myself. I weathered uncertainty and a slumping housing market and managed to Forrest Gump my way into a good job and a sold house...the whole situation could have been a lot worse.

Looking back at the year I would keep July and December and probably junk the rest and the reason for those two months is that I had a beach house in Clearwater in one and spent 11 wonderful days in the Tampa area the other.

Thanks for all of the help and for humoring me when I was visiting...I know that you each have to spend some family capital when I come to town and I want you all to know it's appreciated.

I'll be spending New Years with an ex-girlfriend (not the one you are thinking, the other one) but I hope you all have a fun, safe, and prosperous New Year!

...Also, I am a selfish jerk

The titkle to this post is not a song lyric for the first time in a while, but it occurs to me that in the midst on my own self centered bitching, I overlooked some fairly important stuff. The Host lost two grandparents this year and Pauly lost our beloved Aubela this year.
Sorry for the oversight, as we all know it is sometimes difficult for me to get outside of my own head.

“It’s been a long December but there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last”

As anyone who has met me will attest, I am a Glass Half Full kind of guy. It takes a whole lot to get me “down” and very little to get me “up”. As such, I can’t remember one year in my life up to this point that I would unequivocally call a “bad year”. In fact, most I would call good years with some even reaching great year status. Well as I sit here less than 20 hours from the start of 2009 it occurs to me that 2008 was kind of a bad year. Sure, I got married this year and that is a nice little feather in my personal cap, but in reality people get married every single day and the only ones who really care at all are me and Mrs. GF. So other than that little victory, we have collectively and individually experienced quite a few tribulations, some of which have been documented in this space and others which have not. The Host lost his job (though he later found another), Pauly lost his job (and is still searching for a replacement gig). My dog died (not current Dog, but Rufus Dog) which is actually quite a bit more devastating than one would think. Mrs. GF and I endured The Rat House fiasco and subsequent uprooting. The economy and my industry in particular collapsed. My political party of choice ran a curmudgeon and a real life grown up High School Mean Girl for President with predictable results. The hometown baseball team lost the World Series to the worst group of people in the world (Philadelphians). And the home town football team made us endure one of the worst late season collapses in a franchise history full of collapses and disappointment.

So you know what 2008? Suck It. I’m glad to see you go. So tonight as I sip whatever libation I am choosing to enjoy, I will not celebrate the arrival of a new year but rather the demise of the old one. Here’s to a New Year that is better than the last. Cheers!

“Simplify, testify, identify, rectify, and if I get high stop being so uptight”

This morning as I sat on the couch, watching the news and having my morning jolt of caffeine, I saw two stories back to back that were so absurd they warranted mentioning and ridiculing.
The first was about New York Governor David Patterson and his objection to a (unbelievably hysterical) skit on last weekend’s Saturday Night Live that lampooned him quite nicely. Fred Armisen’s impression was dead on and while it may not have portrayed Patterson himself in the most positive light, little of that had to do with the fact that he is blind. The show made no intention to show a direct link between blindness and incompetence, it was simply pointing out that those are two traits that he posses. These are the facts: when you are a minority Governor of a state as prominent as New York, who was never elected but rather appointed when the previous “holier than though” Gov. was busted for whoremongering, who also has a well documented affinity for cocaine…..well you need to expect that you are going to fall under some scrutiny regardless of whether you can see or not.
The second story is even more ludicrous as it documented the most appropriate way to greet people during this holiday season. An “expert” was brought on to discuss the relative merits of holiday themed salutations such as “Merry Christmas”, “Happy Holidays”, “Season’s Greetings”, etc… He further pointed out that some folks may take exception to a greeting like “Merry Christmas” because they may celebrate a different holiday like Chanukah or they may celebrate Christmas for secular reasons. Well two points here, 1. regardless of religious affiliation, if you celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ for “secular reasons” you are either a hypocrite or an idiot. Those are really the only two options. And 2. If you are the type of person who is in anyway offended or disrespected by a seasonal salutation than you, my friend, take yourself way too seriously and really need to dial it down a notch. I am not a Jewish man, but were you to throw a “Happy Chanukah” at me you would get a cheerful “Shalom” right back. We really, as a society, need to be just a bit more tolerant and stop being so uptight about every little thing.
So the next time that you are working your Harrumph up over something stupid (and trust me, whatever it is, I promise you it is stupid) take a deep breath, pour a cup of cheer, and just relax. It’s all good.

“It’s a sad man, my friend, who’s living in his own skin and can’t stand the company”

It was a day of great rejoicing in my head a couple of months ago when one of the local papers fired columnist/talentless hack/general miserable wretch Dan Ruth. For years this guy has written columns that are meant to be the humorous voice of reason, the snarky conscience of the good people of The T. In reality they are the thoroughly non-entertaining musings a bitter old crank who clearly has no love lost for this town. Given all this, you can imagine my chagrin upon learning that the other local paper recently hired him as a weekly columnist. It is one thing to be the voice of dissent regarding corrupt local pols and shady big business, but it is quite another to be thoroughly dismissive of everything good about this town in the process. It is beyond me why a local newspaper (a dying breed to begin with) would employ a “writer” (I use quotes because he is really, really very bad) who so openly disdains the town in which he lives and works. But I guess if that old hack can get work putting pen to paper (or finger to keypad as the case may be) there is the hope of gainful employment for all of us.

“Tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sin, till the sandman he comes”

I have made several references in this space to my neurotic dog, Dog. Well she isn’t so much neurotic as she is bat poo KA-RAAZEE. After a period of becoming seemingly well adjusted, she is back up to her old tricks. A couple nights ago she got the kabuki in her head and spent the evening banging the door knob with her nose, pawing at my head, whimpering, and pacing. This is not the first time this has happened. When it does, she does not want out, she is not hungry, she doesn’t even want what she thinks she wants. It is impossible to sleep when this happens and since I seem to function better without sleep than Mrs. GF, I take Dog into another room so she can continue to do all of these same activities but only disturb me. The first night I got less than an hour’s sleep. The night after that was better, but then last night she was up to this mischief again and I got only two hours sleep. When this happens it is difficult not to try and think of ways to sedate her for a few minutes of peace. It really doesn’t seem like to much to ask for a dog that goes to sleep for a few hours a night.

But here’s the thing. We love her. She was a gift from friends and is part of our family. Getting rid of her is not an option. We have to try and find a way to solve this little issue of hers. So where does that leave us? Doggie therapy? Do I become the guy who takes his dog to a shrink? Puppy Prozac? I always said that if I ever become a parent I would not medicate my kids with those kind of pharmaceuticals, so am I willing to do it to my dog? Pot? If I knew how to get any of it, would I bake her some “special” puppy treats? I really don’t know the answers to these mysteries.

The worst part of all of this is that I am so hysterically sleep deprived that I every time I get in my car I hear sirens that aren’t there and also, me and my surly leprechaun friend Mickey Collins just slayed a dragon, took his gold, went down to the local pub and bought a round of Tullimore Dew for Santa and all the elves….and given my current state I can’t even be 100% totally sure that really happened.

"Think I'll go down to The Well tonight, I'm gonna drink till I get my fill"

I have to admit that I am not as smart as this entry may make me appear. I had no idea the anniversary referenced was approaching us until reading an article in Forbes this morning. Wait, I read Forbes. And Investment News. And the Wall Street Journal. I guess I am smart after all.

Anyway, regardless of how it came to my attention, this coming Friday is the 75th Anniversary of the repeal of the Volstead Act. As history buffs and drunks everywhere know, The Volstead Act was the legislation that officially banned the sale, consumption, and possession of alcohol in the United States. “Prohibition”, as it would come to be known, was one of if not the most misguided attempts at legislating morality this country has ever seen. Not only did it fail to reduce consumption of the Demon Rum, it actually increased the number of bars (illegal but widely accepted) and allowed organized crime a solid foothold into the major cities of America.

After failing in nearly every conceivable way, and accompanied by the growing social acceptance of alcohol, Prohibition was repealed on December 5, 1933. And there was rejoicing.

So in this season of giving thanks, make your way on Friday down to your local speakeasy, pub, tavern, bar, or fundrinkery of your choice and give thanks for the freedom to hoist a pint of your favorite Holiday Cheer.

And Suddenly It Came to Life...

Wow! I have been calling out the clowns (read: my best friends in the world) that share this blog with me for months now about not posting. It was soon to be the G and Me site if they didn't step up. Much to my pleasure, the blog is abuzz with new activity. I heart it. You know, maybe we should try to distribute this thing or something so other people read it...

Anyway, the last few posts have been alternately funny, dismal, cathartic, calming, reassuring, and surreal (glad to see Santa letters still). There's no way I can top the wittiness of GF or assuage the emotional turmoil with Pauly. Z, who never posts on here is having a rough patch and Ant'ny misses us here at home while he chases fortune and glory (at least there is great live music at the same place). As for me, while my posts are random at best, boring at worst and somewhat academic in the middle, I have been strangely content lately.

See, wife and I are on better terms. We go through down periods a lot...kind of like Ireland, we even call them "the Troubles" like they do over there. But we are on an upswing. My kid is amazing and I love him more every day. That makes Pauly's post hit even closer to home. Despite the deaths in my family and not making as much money as I used to (or would like to, but who does), I have reached some stasis in my life.

I like my job. I enjoy coming in every day and I really like the people I work with. I like what we do as an organization and I really like what I do for them. How many people can say that?

But, you know what? There is nothing in my life that compares to the 4 guys I share this blog with (I mean, with the obvious exception of my family). Actually, we are like family but in a better way. We rarely annoy each other (at least not too much) and we almost always would like to spend time together, because we are fun. I don't live near any of my family, but I never feel that way. Someone to watch the dog, check. Someone to watch the baby, check. Someone to take the family in during a storm while I am away, check. Pick up at the airport, got ya. Borrow some money, if we have it. Seriously, despite what each of us has going on in our own domes right now...it's the season to thankful and I am thankful for this motley band of merry men I call my best friends.

Now, each of you can kiss my ass (just so you don't think I am too mushy).

"Oh Santa Claus, I still believe in you. There's still a kid in all of us that still believes you're true"

An open letter to Santa Claus....and also the one that I actually sent.

Dear Santa,

What an eventful year it has been for me. There have been highs and lows, goods and bads, but like all things it is just life and it is wonderful.

The year began, as is usually the case, with January and with my wedding. It was a tremendous, beautiful, fun event and I would be less than honest if I said I wasn’t immensely happy to have that over and done with. The wedding was quickly followed by a trip to Cabo San Lucas and a week of much deserved relaxation. From the time our plane landed back in Tampa, time seemed to move into fast forward mode. I traveled extensively for work in the spring and early summer, my Main Man Rufus went to the Happy Hunting Grounds in the Sky in June, we were forced from our house by vermin, mold, and the general stench of death in August, and the cutest, sweetest puppy in the world revealed a neurotic side that would make Larry David blush upon arriving at our new domicile. Somewhere along the line gas started costing more than the car itself and the economy as a whole crashed. And before we could blink twice, here we are at the beginning of December and the precipice of a new year.

Despite the bumps in the road there is a bright day on the horizon. Our new place is immensely more comfortable and livable than the Rat House and Dog has finally adjusted to life there. In November America held a historic election and voted for our first Socialist President (well, the first one since FDR at least) and this was apparently the cause for great hope for a certain segment of the population (presumably the Socialists).

So with the best wishes for a happy and healthy 2009 for both the GF's and our nation, I respectfully tender this list of possible Christmas gifts.

-Lowe’s gift card. This will actually be used for a two chair (wide w/ cushions) and small table patio set. So if you happen to see a set that fits this description, you could get that as well.

-Mrs. GF likes gift cards to Sephora, Borders, or any electronics place where she could get photography stuff (like Best Buy).

-I need some more of those long sleeve work out shirts like I got for my birthday. Those are awesome.

-Treats for Dog. Dog does not want any more canine behavior books though. She hasn’t learned to read yet and when we read her the ones we already have, it makes her feel bad about herself.

-Tequila, por favor.

-Gift cards to any place (like Target) that I can buy CD’s.

-Super Bowl Championship for Buccaneers.

-Some recruiting success (the fiscal year is off to a rough start).

-A job for Pauly.

I guess that would about it. If Dog’s goal of literacy comes to fruition I may let her write this next year, if not I guess you’ll be stuck with more commentary from a married dude in his mid-thirties who still writes to Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas!

GF, Mrs. GF, & Dog

A Thanksgiving Irony

Sorry if this is a bit of a downer, but I feel like it has to be said, maybe more for my own benefit than for anything else.

As many of you know, over the past months, like so many others, I have found myself looking for work. As a matter of fact, it was 7 months ago today that I last worked. The past 7 months have been a figurative rollercoaster of emotion; job interviews, promising leads, unreturned phone calls, and potential employers who have dropped off the face of the earth following an interview. Through all of this, with the help of the other clowns on this blog, I have tried to keep in the best humor possible. My mantra has been, “It could be a lot worse.” My family is blessed to have a emotional and financial support structure. We have some ‘rainy day’ money put away, and unlike so many others, we are in no danger of missing payments on anything. We also have out health, sure there’s a cold here and there, and toddlers are so gracious in sharing germs that sniffles are a way of life in the Pauly household.

That said, last week was a particularly difficult one for me. Early in the week, I found out I was no longer in consideration for one position, it became apparent that I had been passed over by a second company as it’s been two and a half weeks since my interview and there has been no follow up, and it’s looking more and more like my latest best hope will also pass me over (more on that later); Monday, after three weeks of fighting a cold my son was sent home from daycare with a fever – requiring that he stay home Tuesday, I’ve been fighting a cough for three weeks, my daughter and wife have gotten the mung and to top it off, I had to take my dog to the emergency vet last Wednesday for a bum paw. That little trip set me back $170 for three anti-inflammatory. So Thanksgiving was looking to be a blast. Sure, down deep, I know it could be much worse, and we/I still had plenty to be thankful for, although I was getting real tired of getting kicked.

All this is just back story to something that happened today. As is my usual routine, after our breakfast, my daughter watches some cartoons and I retire to the laptop to go back to the job search. Until about 10 a.m. I have the TV on ESPN2, listening/watching Mike and Mike, they make me laugh and have sports views very similar to ours. Today something struck a nerve. Today, they’re doing a live remote from Dallas, not in an ESPN Zone or from an ESPN Radio Affiliate, but from a children’s cancer hospital. They’ve show several shots of the guys interacting with kids ranging from 3 to 18 who are in this place fighting for their very existence. I don’t mean to get too heavy or depressing. We’ve become accustom to using this forum as a place for levity and frivolity with the occasional meaningful note mixed in. But I truly believe this show was a message to me today – it really can be worse We all have children we’re close to; some of us are even parents.

I’m not really sure what the point of all this was other than to say we each need to thank the Almighty (whatever we believe), that our children (or the children we care about) are happy, healthy, and loved. . As I sit here and write this, I’m waiting on the last company I interviewed with to call me with their decision, in all likelihood to tell me thanks but no thanks. Originally I was supposed to hear late last week, then I was supposed to hear on Monday, now I’m supposed to hear sometime this morning. It’s an excruciating wait, but ‘it could be worse.’ I can’t stress enough how watching those kids this morning has grounded me. My job search is temporary and will, eventually, have a happy ending. Not all the kids and families in those cancer centers can will be able to say the same things.

OK, lesson over. Things could be worse. Go hug a kid you love as soon as you can. And Happy late Thanksgiving.