As the token single guy of the group I feel I must relay this story. I recently ended yet another long term relationship and have been feeling about how you're supposed to feel after a break-up. I mean, yes...it stinks...I don't' really have anybody to talk to about my day and I wonder if I made the right decision. There is also the prospect of no sexy time for the foreseeable future and having to go through the first dates and settling in with yet another person. It's all a bit daunting and depressing to say the least. But, women are like bus stops, there's one along every 15 minutes right?
But, yesterday, a comment made in passing by a guy I work with kind if hit me hard. I had to race home after work to change clothes for an evening work commitment and I complained to a work guy that I had to iron my clothes. He told me, "you know, if you had a wife you'd have a teammate that could do that for you while you were at work and you wouldn't have to worry about it, that's what my wife is doing right now." This ridiculous statement, of all things, messed me up a bit. The whole drive home I felt terrible! I wondered if I had made a huge mistake and remembered all the good times of the past relationship and almost regretted the decision. I kind of hated that guy for being so flippant and making me feel like I had made a mistake. How can one comment make such a huge impact on my day?
Well, this morning, as if on cue, I bumped into my tormentor and the first thing he said to me was, "you know, I have to apologize to you for the comment I made yesterday." My mind was racing, did this guy sense my sadness, did he find out somehow that I had just ended my 15 month relationship, did I look troubled? I timidly responded, "oh really, why?" He then relayed to me his wife blew off his request to iron said clothes and left him a note to feed the kids before he left for his work obligation. While ironing he knocked off a button, could not find the sewing repair kit and was quite upset that he had to do all the work...before work!
The news of his fall from marital bliss certainly improved my mood but only momentarily. I realized that the arguments I'd had with my most recent feminine influence were the same misunderstandings I'd had with previous lady friends. It made me realize that finding a companion in life that would never argue with me is a fruitless endeavor. I'm pretty sure there is no such thing. The trick is, finding a girl (yes a girl...it's not like I own a Fusion) that can put up with my bologna and challenges me to put up with hers. The reason I came to this conclusion? Because I have some amazing parents and friends that prove to me everyday that life is hard, but finding a mate that you can share the good times and bad times with is as rewarding as it is frustrating.
So, I've got my bus ticket, and look forward to the next arrival!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
No Way!
I need to say upfront here that I do not like Roger Clemens, never have. Actually, I think the guy's a total ass. There's no denying he had talent, but he also played for the Red Sox and the Yankees and I have never hated two sports teams more (The Yankees are a distant second to the Red Sox). Actually, I hate Red Sox fans (literally hate them), but that's another story for another day.
So, Roger Clemens had an affair with Mindy McCready beginning when she was 15. That's not sleazy at all. Of course if you follow any news at all, Mindy McCready after beginning a promising career in Nashville spiraled out of control. Drug and relationship problems ended with her nearly committing suicide and spending some time in jail.
Why does this matter? Because Roger Clemens wants all of us to believe he never did steroids, that he's an honest Texas boy who is being wrongfully maligned by a witch hunt report. Okay Roger, just admit you are a dirtbag. You cheated on your wife with an underage girl. Strike one. You took steroids and it's obvious to everyone but you apparently (sure, non-roid ragers always pick up broken bats and throw them back at the batter). Strike two. You won't just admit it, apologize, and move on even though Americans forgive everyone that admits they were wrong and apologizes. Strike three. You are out, go away.
This doesn't even touch how you held out on clubs for the last 4 years after you "retired" and then were such a good teammate you traveled separately from the team because you had a deal where you didn't have to travel if you weren't playing. Awesome. That's a great example for young people wanting to play team sports. Nor do the three strikes touch on what a trainwreck Mindy McCready's life became after being involved with you. And last, it doesn't touch on the fact you have the nerve to tie up legal resources and money by suing a trainer that 95% of Americans believe. So on recount, that's 6 strikes...3 more than you get. Kind of like your time in the public eye, it's carried on way longer than it should.
All of the records, adulation and a Hall of Fame career don't make up for being an irrepressible a-hole and a dirtbag. So Roger, you've struck out at life and being a human to a greater extent than you ever struck out batters. Please sit down now and go away.
So, Roger Clemens had an affair with Mindy McCready beginning when she was 15. That's not sleazy at all. Of course if you follow any news at all, Mindy McCready after beginning a promising career in Nashville spiraled out of control. Drug and relationship problems ended with her nearly committing suicide and spending some time in jail.
Why does this matter? Because Roger Clemens wants all of us to believe he never did steroids, that he's an honest Texas boy who is being wrongfully maligned by a witch hunt report. Okay Roger, just admit you are a dirtbag. You cheated on your wife with an underage girl. Strike one. You took steroids and it's obvious to everyone but you apparently (sure, non-roid ragers always pick up broken bats and throw them back at the batter). Strike two. You won't just admit it, apologize, and move on even though Americans forgive everyone that admits they were wrong and apologizes. Strike three. You are out, go away.
This doesn't even touch how you held out on clubs for the last 4 years after you "retired" and then were such a good teammate you traveled separately from the team because you had a deal where you didn't have to travel if you weren't playing. Awesome. That's a great example for young people wanting to play team sports. Nor do the three strikes touch on what a trainwreck Mindy McCready's life became after being involved with you. And last, it doesn't touch on the fact you have the nerve to tie up legal resources and money by suing a trainer that 95% of Americans believe. So on recount, that's 6 strikes...3 more than you get. Kind of like your time in the public eye, it's carried on way longer than it should.
All of the records, adulation and a Hall of Fame career don't make up for being an irrepressible a-hole and a dirtbag. So Roger, you've struck out at life and being a human to a greater extent than you ever struck out batters. Please sit down now and go away.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Three Wise Men
You know what? We're changing the name of this thing if the two non-contributors (one of whom is a short timer who I know isn't busy working right now) don't start writing something soon. My shoulders are getting tired fellas.
By the way, I'm walking out the door to (hopefully) close a $65 million deal. That ought to be a enough general badassery to keep us afloat for a while, regardless of the antics of the Federales.
By the way, I'm walking out the door to (hopefully) close a $65 million deal. That ought to be a enough general badassery to keep us afloat for a while, regardless of the antics of the Federales.
Work Dominates our Forum
Interesting to say the least, that the topic of work is dominating our forum...mostly because for the most part all of us work only to be able to enjoy our lives. I actually don't think any of us enjoy work, per se. Don't get me wrong, I think if there wasn't something enjoyable about it we would man up and quit, but work is work. We typically indentify more with our outside of work lives as raging sports fans, consumers of malted barley and hops, appreciating of fine liquors and attendees at live music shows. That's why I say it's funny work is dominating the Forum.
However, now that 3/5 of us have had extended stays in the unemployment lane and one of us has an uncertain future...it's a little unnerving. Here we are 5 smart guys, well-educated, solid work experience, better than average looking (except one...he's incredibly average) and we are likeable...on most days. Where did we go wrong?
I'm not going to rail on the economy or bash El Presidente, though both are warranted. It's just been a little overplayed. Let's just say that is costs a lot to live these days and business needs to pick up around this country so the 5 of us can continue being the badasses we are. Seriously, I would hate this country without me in it.
However, now that 3/5 of us have had extended stays in the unemployment lane and one of us has an uncertain future...it's a little unnerving. Here we are 5 smart guys, well-educated, solid work experience, better than average looking (except one...he's incredibly average) and we are likeable...on most days. Where did we go wrong?
I'm not going to rail on the economy or bash El Presidente, though both are warranted. It's just been a little overplayed. Let's just say that is costs a lot to live these days and business needs to pick up around this country so the 5 of us can continue being the badasses we are. Seriously, I would hate this country without me in it.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Why Work
Not to dump on our host, but having a couple of job offers on the table is not something to bemoan. As of 10 am this morning, I have none. That's right, the Turk came by my cube and asked me to present my self in the board room. Now I'm at home surfing job sites and hoping that my nare-do-well friends have made enough connections in their socializing in the Bay Area to land me a job somewhere.
Seriously guys, I have two little kids...
Seriously guys, I have two little kids...
"Work and play are never o.k., to mix the way we do"
A couple of comments on the previous post:
1. I can confirm that despite his declarations to the contrary, our esteemed host is in fact very interesting. People who are not interesting have no problem working from home because they are not tempted by gambling websites, the illicit DVDs that their wife doesn't know about, or the cold beers in the fridge at 11:00 a.m. The fact that our host, and really all of us, would be easily waylayed by any of these distractions speaks to just how interesting we all are.
2. Stop picking on my car you ass-hats!
1. I can confirm that despite his declarations to the contrary, our esteemed host is in fact very interesting. People who are not interesting have no problem working from home because they are not tempted by gambling websites, the illicit DVDs that their wife doesn't know about, or the cold beers in the fridge at 11:00 a.m. The fact that our host, and really all of us, would be easily waylayed by any of these distractions speaks to just how interesting we all are.
2. Stop picking on my car you ass-hats!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Work?
Work (noun): place of employment
Work (verb): to labor
To be honest with you, I have never really been a fan of either. In fact, I say all of the time I only work because I like what I do when I am not there. To that end, and having recently been liberated from both forms of the word above, I took stock of my life and sadly it was a short inventory.
Here's the thing, I was presented with one job that pretty much sounded like the type of job I have wanted for just about ever. I had another opportunity to work from home. I thought working from home (regardless of the work) was the way to go...what better way to pass the time with not having to commute, working in your jammies, etc.
Here's the thing, working from home is fraught with disaster lurking at every corner. The world conspires against you. Would I rather work or watch Sportscenter? Would I rather work or surf for sites that are blocked on most corporate servers? Would I rather work or sit on my porch and drink beer? Would I rather work than mow my yard (seriously, I had this discussion with myself)? Anyway, you get the point.
The other thing that is kind of striking when you spend that much time with yourself (and I mean alone, not that kind of time with yourself) it can be enlightening. See, it turns out I am really not that interesting. I bore myself.
Having the opportunity to loaf through work seems to be ideal, but then you realize you have to work at like midnight to get something. I have a new son at home, I only see midnight when I am getting up to feed him...you get the point.
What am I getting at? I don't know really...just think twice about "working" from home. the self-realization that you are not interesting is in and of itself something that might set me back a few years. I can call the shrink and tell her we have a whole new batch of issues to deal with.
At least I didn't buy a Fusion.
Work (verb): to labor
To be honest with you, I have never really been a fan of either. In fact, I say all of the time I only work because I like what I do when I am not there. To that end, and having recently been liberated from both forms of the word above, I took stock of my life and sadly it was a short inventory.
Here's the thing, I was presented with one job that pretty much sounded like the type of job I have wanted for just about ever. I had another opportunity to work from home. I thought working from home (regardless of the work) was the way to go...what better way to pass the time with not having to commute, working in your jammies, etc.
Here's the thing, working from home is fraught with disaster lurking at every corner. The world conspires against you. Would I rather work or watch Sportscenter? Would I rather work or surf for sites that are blocked on most corporate servers? Would I rather work or sit on my porch and drink beer? Would I rather work than mow my yard (seriously, I had this discussion with myself)? Anyway, you get the point.
The other thing that is kind of striking when you spend that much time with yourself (and I mean alone, not that kind of time with yourself) it can be enlightening. See, it turns out I am really not that interesting. I bore myself.
Having the opportunity to loaf through work seems to be ideal, but then you realize you have to work at like midnight to get something. I have a new son at home, I only see midnight when I am getting up to feed him...you get the point.
What am I getting at? I don't know really...just think twice about "working" from home. the self-realization that you are not interesting is in and of itself something that might set me back a few years. I can call the shrink and tell her we have a whole new batch of issues to deal with.
At least I didn't buy a Fusion.
Ford Reports Potential $100M Profit in Second Quarter Thanks to a Loyal Customer
Ford Motor Co. surprised Wall Street on Thursday with a $100 million profit forecast from an amazing source, a single customer. (Name Redacted but he is a Member of this Blog, we'll call him NRMB for short)(Tampa, FL) traded in his Ford F-150 and was so far upside down that the cost to pay it off, once added to his new purchase (The Ford Fusion, which is mainly targeted at homosexuals that “need a pair” and soccer moms) the entire supply chain of Ford Motor Co. would make profits from the deal. The $.95 cent gasket needed to seal the transmission case to fix his trade-in made NRMB think his entire car was useless, leading him to take $3,500 for the truck while the dealer added $7,000 to the price of the Fusion. “Yeah, sometimes I get up in the morning and think that saying there’s one born every minute isn’t true…then a guy like NRMB walks in and proves me wrong all over again” said Jorge Gonzales, the receptionist NRMB initially tried to negotiate with.
Joe Celli, sales manager at the dealership told us, “It turned out to be a real sweet deal for us, I just showed him a picture of a monkey, offered him a beer and put a disco ball over my desk to make sparkle’s on the wall and he was sold…I probably could have gotten a bit more out of him but it was just too easy”
Calls to NRMB were not immediately returned but company spokesman Mark Truby said “Ford sure does appreciate NRMB's business and we hope he comes back soon, we could use another good quarter.”
Joe Celli, sales manager at the dealership told us, “It turned out to be a real sweet deal for us, I just showed him a picture of a monkey, offered him a beer and put a disco ball over my desk to make sparkle’s on the wall and he was sold…I probably could have gotten a bit more out of him but it was just too easy”
Calls to NRMB were not immediately returned but company spokesman Mark Truby said “Ford sure does appreciate NRMB's business and we hope he comes back soon, we could use another good quarter.”
Monday, April 21, 2008
Losing the good fight
I have officially thrown in the towel. After months of denial and looking like I was squeezed into my pants like fresh made sausage, I took three pairs of suit trousers into the tailor to be let out. In fairness, they're like 3 years old and a size 33 waist, but it was still a depressing acknowledgement of age, the effects of my affinity for bar food, and a professional desire to not, literally, have the poo squeezed out of me by my pants while meeting with a client. I relayed this story to the boys on Friday...while we were sitting at a large chain sports bar....and I was stuffing another chicken wing in my mouth.....and washing it down with another beer. So, yeah...this probably won't be the last time I'm getting pants tailored.
Friday, April 18, 2008
God, I wish someone would stick me.
About once a quarter Florida Blood Services comes here and we do a big blood drive. I’m a magnanimous kind of guy so I try and give when I can. Well today was just such an occasion so about an hour ago I strolled down there to give a pint. What I got in return was an encounter with the most ridiculously unprofessional team of blood letters I have ever experienced. (It should be noted that I don’t necessarily consider this a bad thing). I first met with a young guy who took all of my information, mumbled like he had mouth full of grits, and said “dude” at least once a sentence. One of the mandatory questions is “Have you been out of the country in the past three years”? Well he perked right on up when I told him I was recently in Cabo for my honeymoon. This prompted him to loudly ask about the quantity of “hot chicks” I saw and the level of my tequila in-take. (Not many and LOTS). When McLovin finally finished up with the questions he passed me along to a big ole Linebacker looking gal who very much resembled Gary Busey. She introduced herself by saying “Whoa, I got a hottie”! Over the course of the 20 minutes it took her to take my blood Busey rubbed my leg and called me “Honey Bunny”, threatened to take my temperature the uncomfortable way, and when confronted with the abysmal Bryan Adams song “Have you ever really loved a woman” on the radio, asked me in a husky, smoker’s brogue, “Why won’t you song this to me”? I may have actually gotten up to leave but there was a needle in my arm and a steady stream of blood flowing into an attached bag. Lest I think this was an isolated incident, the guy at the donation station next to mine was on his cell phone. He said to whomever he was speaking with, “I gotta go, they are getting ready to stick me”. Without missing a beat, the girl taking his blood very audibly proclaimed to no one in particular “god, I wish someone would stick me”. Yep, that’s a true story.
We May Be New But We Have Much to Say
My four friends and I dreamed of having a website. Why? Well, because we think we are funny, topical, insightful, etc. Who doesn't really?
The bad thing is, we are all busy family types (save one) who just don't have the time to create, host, administer and all that comes along with it. So, given the fact the economy is in the toilet and I lost my job because of it, well...I'm taking the bull by the horns and starting it here. This may not be the grandiose vision we all had in mind...but it's better than nothing.
So, what will you get when you check out our site? Actually, I'm not sure...we may be the only five people who ever see it. But, this is what I know of my four best friends:
One is a very intelligent music man. He can tell you all about Patti LaBelle, Mike Love of the Beach Boys and Kings of Leon...all in the same conversation. If he wasn't pretty successful in business, married outside of himself and decent in most social settings we'd probably have him diganosed as a savant. His savant skills do not translate to numbers or gambling...expect humor in this department. He's also kind of politically savvy. A mixed bag if you will.
My next friend is the same as above only with sports. He's the guy that springs for the Insider package on ESPN and knows the NFL draft front and back. He's also the only one of us with a voice of reason...this has served us well, when we listen to it (read: rarely).
Next is the guy everyone has in their crew. He's good at breaking things and generally making an ass of himself. All of that belies the fact that he's a great Dad and husband and is pretty handy with computers and electricity...something the rest of us know to never mess with. He's also a great friend and very reliable. His comments are generally hysterical (albeit lacking in grammar skills).
Last, other than me of course, is our friend who does things like the Ironman so he can call of us names. Seriously, I don't think he liked it...he just gets a lot of mileage from most of us who get winded from our seats at the Trop to the beer line. He's also a pretty smart guy who is finishing up service to his country to come home and play with his friends. Oh, and he's really, really locked down when it comes to things being in order.
Then there is me...the host because I took the initiative. That means I get to say whatever I want about myself and it has to be true...right? Well, in reality if you took all of the four above and mashed them down like they do the bacon at Waffle House, you would get me. At any point, of any day I can have tendencies that touch everything above. That makes me special as far as I am concerned.
So there you have it...we'll be posting whenever the time is right. Look back for music, concert, restaurant and nightlife reviews, sports takes, lifestyle rants, and more. We may even entertain you with the email conversation of the week or something...because what do five guys with good jobs do during the day to pass the time...they email.
Long enough...out until next time.
The bad thing is, we are all busy family types (save one) who just don't have the time to create, host, administer and all that comes along with it. So, given the fact the economy is in the toilet and I lost my job because of it, well...I'm taking the bull by the horns and starting it here. This may not be the grandiose vision we all had in mind...but it's better than nothing.
So, what will you get when you check out our site? Actually, I'm not sure...we may be the only five people who ever see it. But, this is what I know of my four best friends:
One is a very intelligent music man. He can tell you all about Patti LaBelle, Mike Love of the Beach Boys and Kings of Leon...all in the same conversation. If he wasn't pretty successful in business, married outside of himself and decent in most social settings we'd probably have him diganosed as a savant. His savant skills do not translate to numbers or gambling...expect humor in this department. He's also kind of politically savvy. A mixed bag if you will.
My next friend is the same as above only with sports. He's the guy that springs for the Insider package on ESPN and knows the NFL draft front and back. He's also the only one of us with a voice of reason...this has served us well, when we listen to it (read: rarely).
Next is the guy everyone has in their crew. He's good at breaking things and generally making an ass of himself. All of that belies the fact that he's a great Dad and husband and is pretty handy with computers and electricity...something the rest of us know to never mess with. He's also a great friend and very reliable. His comments are generally hysterical (albeit lacking in grammar skills).
Last, other than me of course, is our friend who does things like the Ironman so he can call of us names. Seriously, I don't think he liked it...he just gets a lot of mileage from most of us who get winded from our seats at the Trop to the beer line. He's also a pretty smart guy who is finishing up service to his country to come home and play with his friends. Oh, and he's really, really locked down when it comes to things being in order.
Then there is me...the host because I took the initiative. That means I get to say whatever I want about myself and it has to be true...right? Well, in reality if you took all of the four above and mashed them down like they do the bacon at Waffle House, you would get me. At any point, of any day I can have tendencies that touch everything above. That makes me special as far as I am concerned.
So there you have it...we'll be posting whenever the time is right. Look back for music, concert, restaurant and nightlife reviews, sports takes, lifestyle rants, and more. We may even entertain you with the email conversation of the week or something...because what do five guys with good jobs do during the day to pass the time...they email.
Long enough...out until next time.
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