Ford Motor Co. surprised Wall Street on Thursday with a $100 million profit forecast from an amazing source, a single customer. (Name Redacted but he is a Member of this Blog, we'll call him NRMB for short)(Tampa, FL) traded in his Ford F-150 and was so far upside down that the cost to pay it off, once added to his new purchase (The Ford Fusion, which is mainly targeted at homosexuals that “need a pair” and soccer moms) the entire supply chain of Ford Motor Co. would make profits from the deal. The $.95 cent gasket needed to seal the transmission case to fix his trade-in made NRMB think his entire car was useless, leading him to take $3,500 for the truck while the dealer added $7,000 to the price of the Fusion. “Yeah, sometimes I get up in the morning and think that saying there’s one born every minute isn’t true…then a guy like NRMB walks in and proves me wrong all over again” said Jorge Gonzales, the receptionist NRMB initially tried to negotiate with.
Joe Celli, sales manager at the dealership told us, “It turned out to be a real sweet deal for us, I just showed him a picture of a monkey, offered him a beer and put a disco ball over my desk to make sparkle’s on the wall and he was sold…I probably could have gotten a bit more out of him but it was just too easy”
Calls to NRMB were not immediately returned but company spokesman Mark Truby said “Ford sure does appreciate NRMB's business and we hope he comes back soon, we could use another good quarter.”
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