I have made several references in this space to my neurotic dog, Dog. Well she isn’t so much neurotic as she is bat poo KA-RAAZEE. After a period of becoming seemingly well adjusted, she is back up to her old tricks. A couple nights ago she got the kabuki in her head and spent the evening banging the door knob with her nose, pawing at my head, whimpering, and pacing. This is not the first time this has happened. When it does, she does not want out, she is not hungry, she doesn’t even want what she thinks she wants. It is impossible to sleep when this happens and since I seem to function better without sleep than Mrs. GF, I take Dog into another room so she can continue to do all of these same activities but only disturb me. The first night I got less than an hour’s sleep. The night after that was better, but then last night she was up to this mischief again and I got only two hours sleep. When this happens it is difficult not to try and think of ways to sedate her for a few minutes of peace. It really doesn’t seem like to much to ask for a dog that goes to sleep for a few hours a night.
But here’s the thing. We love her. She was a gift from friends and is part of our family. Getting rid of her is not an option. We have to try and find a way to solve this little issue of hers. So where does that leave us? Doggie therapy? Do I become the guy who takes his dog to a shrink? Puppy Prozac? I always said that if I ever become a parent I would not medicate my kids with those kind of pharmaceuticals, so am I willing to do it to my dog? Pot? If I knew how to get any of it, would I bake her some “special” puppy treats? I really don’t know the answers to these mysteries.
The worst part of all of this is that I am so hysterically sleep deprived that I every time I get in my car I hear sirens that aren’t there and also, me and my surly leprechaun friend Mickey Collins just slayed a dragon, took his gold, went down to the local pub and bought a round of Tullimore Dew for Santa and all the elves….and given my current state I can’t even be 100% totally sure that really happened.
But here’s the thing. We love her. She was a gift from friends and is part of our family. Getting rid of her is not an option. We have to try and find a way to solve this little issue of hers. So where does that leave us? Doggie therapy? Do I become the guy who takes his dog to a shrink? Puppy Prozac? I always said that if I ever become a parent I would not medicate my kids with those kind of pharmaceuticals, so am I willing to do it to my dog? Pot? If I knew how to get any of it, would I bake her some “special” puppy treats? I really don’t know the answers to these mysteries.
The worst part of all of this is that I am so hysterically sleep deprived that I every time I get in my car I hear sirens that aren’t there and also, me and my surly leprechaun friend Mickey Collins just slayed a dragon, took his gold, went down to the local pub and bought a round of Tullimore Dew for Santa and all the elves….and given my current state I can’t even be 100% totally sure that really happened.
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