Monday, May 5, 2008

Everything's Coming Up Diamonds!!!!

I'm not a big fan of American Idol but I was flipping through the channels last week and came across the dark haired normal looking kid singing "Sweet Caroline" right there on the ol' boob tube. I'm a fan of this song (mostly because of the alternate lyrics) so I was compelled to sit and watch as each of the final 5 got to perform 2 songs, all of which were Neil Diamond songs. Now, I know for a fact that there are authors on this blog team that have been to a Diamond show and think very highly of his music and I must say, after years of making fun of my Aunt, Uncle, Gary, Danny, and anybody else that claimed to be a fan, I will now have to take it all back and call myself a fan.

I'm not sure when it happened...really, I've got no idea. I have a theory though. I think it's in our DNA. I think we have a time clock in our bodies that tells us when it's time to stop wearing t-shirts with a message on the front, to start growing ear hair, and when to start liking Neil. I've obviously reached this point and sadly I've reached it unloved and alone (see "what you need is a wife")

The "idol" also showed me what a farce pop music is in this day and age...indeed these are the words of the unsophisticated money machines (only Gary will get that) that pollute the Fox network and dupe tens of millions of Americans into voting for extremely average singers (see the week prior, Mariah Carey as a mentor...need I say more). What's perhaps even better, is that not a single one of the top 5 talents in America could even come close to out-Neiling Neil...it wasn't even a contest!

The spiky haired kid came the closest but at best the performances were an abortion of good singing and songwriting. I mean, the performers thought they could get by "improving" Neils songs by abruptly starting and stopping the lyrics and ended up completely erasing every scrap of the essence that is Neil Diamond. The songs had no flow, no dynamic and were utterly disappointing.

So, I am now the proud owner of some of Neil's greatest hits and I will enjoy them while dropping off a bag of old t-shirts at goodwill with a pair of freshly trimmed ears...I can't help it, I am, I said...sing on Neil...sing on.

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