"Ought to be a side show act for freaks like me. Yea I could be the star of the show with my name on the marquee"

Yesterday The Host posted a very well thought out and articulate take on the election and the general state of America as we near the end of 2008. Well today I am going to counter that with a tale of sheer, unabashed Moronacy. If right now you are thinking, “hey, ‘moronacy’ is not an actual word”, I say read the following tale and then perhaps you will feel inclined to cut the stoopid kid some slack.
This morning I was running a couple of errands on my way to work. Among other things I swung into my local convenience store, grabbed my morning Diet Dew, smiled nicely at Rajesh** behind the counter (**name approximated), paid him $1.49 with an Honest Abe, put the change back in my wallet, and left the store. Onto the next stop! I pulled into the bank down the street and strolled up to the ATM only to realize that my wallet was no where to be found. I went back to The Fusion and tore it apart looking for the missing wallet. No luck. This baffled me as I clearly had it less than 10 minutes earlier when I paid for my beverage. Fearing the worst, I returned to the store and asked Rajesh if by chance I had left the wallet there. He gave me the strangest of looks and shook his head slightly as he produced my missing billfold from a drawer below the counter, checked the ID to make sure that it was in fact me (in fairness, the picture on the license was taken 13 years ago), and returned it to me. How a grown man with a good job and a Master’s Degree can continually do things like walking away from a wallet with cash, credit cards, and a figurative “Steal My ID” sign on it is beyond me. Like I said, Moronacy at its finest.