Denver, CO
A Denver resident is calling foul after he drove his Ford Fusion, (a car very popular in the gay community) to a local car wash on Monday.
"Well, I was having a bad day," mumbled a sniveling Gary Foster as he wiped away tears and mucous from his chin.
"All I wanted to do was enjoy a tasty PBR tall boy in my car and that's when they sprung it on me"
Mr. Foster claims that the employees of a local car wash, all of which were illegal immigrants from Mexico, sprung a trap on him. He claims they broke his window and began flooding his car with soap and water. Once he was able to exit the car the emergency exit doors were blocked, preventing him from escaping the "torture chamber of death" and subjecting him to constant flogging and abuse from the various machinery.
Mr. Foster suffered from temporary blindness due to the soap and wax mixture, several lacerations from "that spinny thingy that knocked the bajezus outta me," and a slight concussion after being knocked to the ground by the machine that dries the cars.
When the employees were asked for their side of the story they said, "esse came in here saying he wanted to clean de car, so we put him in the ma-chean and sent heem on hees way, mid way through he rolled down the window and started running around like a crazy man and when he heet the exit door he pulled on de push sign for a few minutes before he finally gave up".
Calls for a comment to Mr. Fosters wife and employer were not immediately returned but he did leave us with a final quote,
"You have got a very serious public threat our here Denver, these Gary traps are a mean thing"
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