I've sat on the sideline long enough. I've kept my mouth shut, stood by, and watched as governments from around the world tout studies and presents fact about global warming.
As I sit here typing there is a snow storm bearing down on the Northeast. This is really good news and let me tell you why. The globe is changing! It's the only thing that makes sense really. Since the day we agreed that humans can affect the climate of earth we have witnessed first hand the power of a focused effort. People have come together, big governments have given to smaller governments and the result? Snow...IN THE NORTHEAST!!! It's like a Festivus miracle. The largest concentration of people in the US is seeing a record breaking blizzard this weekend. It really has changed my mind about Algore, the importance of polar bears, and the impact fossil fuels and bovine flatulence can have on society.
But, a far more sinister enemy lurks. I'm going to put it in writing here first so we can begin the revolution. We need all hands on deck for this one people, I'm talking a laser like focus that surpasses even that required to vanquish global warming. What am I talking about? Plate tectonics yo!
Since the dawn of, well, earth, massive plates have been floating around on a sea of comfort without any thought or care of the hurt and disaster they impose on the creatures of middle earth. As they bump into each other you can almost hear them cry out "wwwweeeee" while those above them are thrown into peril.
The recent events of Haiti are in our thoughts and prayers now but let's get historical...these plates ruined a world series...I've had it with death, destruction, the designated hitter...it's time to get mobilized. Mt. Everest has killed far more people than global warming has penguins and polar bears. Mt. Rainier is the reason Seattle sucks. The volcano's of Hawaii could have taken out our President before he even got a chance to get the change train on the tracks man! What else needs to happen before we get organized.
It only makes sense that former VP Dick Cheney leads the charge. He can get his old friends pain (his right fist) and suffering (his left fist) into the fight and bring Haliburton and W. into the fray as well. The days of worrying about earthquakes and a slow death due to suffocation at altitudes not capable of supporting life are coming to an end. Get on your feet people!! Donations can be sent directly to me and I promise that 96% of what you give today will go to fighting this imperative fight. Thank you very much and God Bless the earth.
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