As I was wasting time at work today by reading various NFL picks columns it occured to me that if there is one thing I love more than griping about my employer or reflecting on my mortality (sorry about that by the way) it's gamblin'! I needed something to write about and I can make inaccurate predictions as well as any jerk off blogger or highly paid sports journalist. I'll try and do this every week if I remember or don't get otherwise distracted, but in the meantime here are your lead pipe lock Week 6 NFL winners.
-Detroit (-4) over San Francisco: San Fran is feisty, but Detroit is good. Frank Gore will not be able to carve up the Lions defense the way he did Tampa Bay last week and the 49ers have no answer for Megatron. Even if you throw those two variables out, are you taking Alex Smith on the road in raucous stadium against Suh and his boys? Nope.
-Cincinnati (-7) over Indianapolis: Cincy is a young team on the upswing that still isn't good enough to beat a quality opponent. Fortunately for them the Colts are not a quality opponent. They are in full on "Suck for Luck" mode and Curtis Painter is junk.
-Buffalo (+3) over NY Giants: The Giants defense can't stop anyone from doing anything. Elisha is still their QB and the Bills have a penchant for winning games they shouldn't by capitalizing on dumb QB mistakes. Plus its two New York teams so who cares. Moving on.
-Washington (-1.5) over Philadelphia: Philly's defense couldn't stop Rex Ryan from throwing on them, much less Rex Grossman, a real By God average NFL QB. And while as thrilling as ever, Ron Mexico is still as overrated as he was before he killed all those dogs and went to jail.
-Pittsburgh (-12) over Jacksonville: I don't even know what to say. Jacksonville already has one foot in LA and a shaky (I was raised to be polite) QB. Their only hope week to week is for MJD to go off. He won't be able to do that against the Steelers. Boring.
-St. Louis (+14.5) over Green Bay: The packers are the best team in football right now and the Rams are terrible, which is always enjoyable. But 14.5 seems very generous for any game involving two professional teams. Just a hunch but the Rams cover.
-Carolina (+3.5) over Atlanta: At some point the TV "experts" will realize that the Falcons winning 13 games last year has absolutely no correlation to this season and that they are actually quite shitty. Cam Newton finds a way to cover if not win out right.
-Baltimore (-7) over Houston: No Mario Williams. No Andre Johnson. No chance against the Ravens. Houston feels like it has already resigned itself to another 8-8, miss the playoffs season.
-Oakland (-6.5) over Cleveland: Cleveland has been game this season but Oakland is (and no one has uttered these words in a long time) fundamentally sound. They tackle well, block well, run the ball and don't make a ton of mistakes. Barring some kind of "post Al Davis emotional win" hangover, they should roll at home against the Browns.
-New England (-7) over Dallas: I know New England can't play defense and at some point that will cost them, but it won't be this week. I just can't get past Brady at home vs. Romo.
-Tampa Bay vs. New Orleans: I recuse myself. But I sure wish Punchy and GMC were playing.
-Minnesota (+3) over Chicago: Blah. I wouldn't watch this game if it was the last NFL game ever. But Minny has a good pass rush and Jay Cutler tends to get his grumpy pants in a twist when he gets hit (last week excluded). So I'm going Vikings to cover.
-NY Jets (-7) over Miami: Even with the Derrick Mason trade, reported dissention in the locker room, no ability whatsoever to run the ball, and Sanchez being Sanchez, there's just no way Matt Moore and "On The Hot Seat" Sparano have a chance.
All of these things are absolutely going to happen. If you don't wager large sums of money on them then you are dumb.**
**GF is not responsibly for any monetary losses on your part.
No comments:
Post a Comment