Sunday, October 23, 2011

"I'm just no damn good am I baby, I'm just no damn good, I know its true"

Turns out I am no damn good at both gambling and math. My first crack at wildly guessing about how NFL teams will fare against the spread failed terribly, with a 4-6-1 record last week. I nearly gave it up but my greatest quality is that I am truly delusional about my talents. I'm better than .571 winning percentage and I aim to prove it! Here are the picks with limited commentary, because its only a couple hours until kickoff.
-Tennessee (-3) over Houston: Just like last week, no Andre Johnson, no Super Mario, no cover.
-Tampa Bay (-1) over Chicago: Chicago has no offensive line. Tampa Bay has a young, angry pass rush. London's going to get to see the Cutlerface. I can feel it.
-Detroit (-3.5) over Atlanta: A good team giving 3.5 to an average team at home. Feels like it could go either way but I'd prefer the Falcons to lose.
-Denver (+1.5) over Miami: How is Miami GIVING points? For Jeebus sake, they had to basically throw Tim Tebow Day at their own stadium to get people to show up. That's a bad team.
-Carolina (-3) over Washington: Are you betting on John Beck? No thanks.
-Cleveland (-3) over Seattle: Eh...
-San Diego (-2.5) over NY Jets: I like Rex Ryan. He's fat and funny and a great character. His team just isn't any good this year.
-Kansas City (+5.5) over the Raiders: I so very badly wanted Carson Palmer to start this game so I could be absolutely certain of this pick. But he's not, Kyle Boller is....and I'm still pretty certain of this pick.
-Pittsburgh (-4) over Arizona: This seems like a dumb line. Arizona's home field is really enough to make up for being a bad team with a bad quarter back, against a good defense?
-St. Louis (+14) over Dallas: Two TDs is a lot. Also, I'd rather watch a World Series game between these two cities than this crap sandwich of a football game.
-Green Bay (-9.5) over Minnesota: Best team in the league vs. a rookie QB.
-New Orleans (-14) over Indy: As mentioned above, two TDs is a lot. I'm not sure how many would be enough for me to pick Indy in any game.
-Baltimore (-8) over Jacksonville: Blaine Gabbert is going to enjoy living in LA. He's already got the hair for it.

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